If Princess Tutu Was A Musical The Lord Have
by Lexiconish
Summary: ... Mercy On Our Souls... basically, this is a collection of RANDOM. If you're not into FREAK-ishness, do not read. If you are easily offended, do not read. I support A/F and R/M however, this fic contains many couples. Rated T for rudeness on ALL levels!
1. IntoDUCKtion

Welcome to: **If Princess Tutu were a musical...**

**... the Lord have mercy on our souls...**

Welcome to my random idea. Pizza Hut does incredibly strange things to my head, particularly when I am folding boxes, apparently. I had this idea as I sung weird and fantastical songs.

Basically, this is what would happen if Princess Tutu had been a musical, and if it were written by twisted freaks. Like me!

In each installment (which will come at the regular time of whenever I feel like it) the characters will engage in a fundamentally scary musical act. They will not have any particular order, and yet, they WILL be connected.... somehow!

I had sort of hoped to put this up with chapter one, but I can't be bothered writing this story right this minute. This can be a mini summary, and we all hope (we, being the weirdos of the world) that you will enjoy this fully. When it comes. Don't bother checking back unless you're subscribed to this story, and receive an e-mail with a notification to notify you that you have been notified about my not so regular updates........

thankyou!

**Music plays: Some song called chocolate that probably doesn't exist but is the first word that crossed the author's mind even though she swears she is NOT a chocaholic. She has only one 'holic' in mind: XXX HOLIC!!!!**


	2. Fakir's Girlfriend

**If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls**

**Chapter One: Fakir's Girlfriend**

"Fakir..."

"Yes, Autor?"

"I was wondering about you and Duck... are you two a couple?"

Fakir raised an eyebrow, examining Autor's curious face. Since when did Autor care? "What would you say if we were...?" Fakir, realising the evil designs of this fan ficition, instantly regretted his question, and pulled out a pair of fluffy pink earmuffs.

Autor began to _sing_.

**Autor:** _Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend  
No way, no way, I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend_

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me  
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

Fakir really wasn't expecting _that_. What sick person did this to Autor???

**Autor: **_You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious  
I think about you all the time, you're so addictive  
Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright?  
Alright, alright, alright  
_  
_Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious  
And hell yeah, I'm the mother fucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right  
I'm right, I'm right, I'm right_

Fakir screamed, the earmuffs failing him! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Autor... just referred to Fakir as... delicious!!!!!

Who _wouldn't_ scream?

**Autor: **_She's like so whatever  
You could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everybody's talking about_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend  
No way, no way, I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend_

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me  
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

Autor began to question where his outburst actually came from. Since when was he gay? That was the first question. Then he panicked as his mouth continued to form the lyrics! OH FANFICTION WRITER, WHAT HAVE YE DONE????????

**Autor: **_I can see the way, I see the way you look at me  
And even when you look away I know you think of me  
I know you talk about me all the time again and again  
And again and again and again_

So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear  
Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear  
I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again  
And again and again and again

'Cause she's like so whatever  
And she could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everybody's talking about

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend  
No way, no way, I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me  
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

Autor raced over to Fakir, who was crying and clinging onto Duck like a lifeline. Duck's enquires as to what the hell was his problem were quickly answered as Autor launched into a very graceful dance; he wasn't a bad ballerina... ballerino? Fakir quailled, and shot behind a bush, leaving Duck to face his evil desires.

**Autor: **_Oh, in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Woo, 'cause I can, 'cause I can do it better  
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?  
Hey, she's so stupid, just what were you thinking?_

Duck scowled. How dare this gay fool claim she was stupid? And when did Fakir suddenly decide that she was his girlfriend? She figured they were enemies... where was Mytho when you needed him? Oh right, Mytho was useless, because he was still sitting in Fakir's room with no pants on, mumbling about how depressing it is not having a heart, and how Duck needed to bring him his soup.

**Autor: **_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better  
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid, just what were you thinking?_

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend  
No way, no way, I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend  
No way, no way

Hey, hey, I know that you like me  
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, I want to be your girlfriend  
No way, no way, no way, no way

At last, Autor's spasmatic performance came to a close, and wiping the sweat from his brow, he bowed lightly, waved casually to Fakir and Duck, who were both in tears, and raced away to find Rue, and sing the same song to her.

**Author's Note: **Yes, yes, very short. That's the point, you see? This fic will not make any sense at all, but I am hoping it will amuse you anyway. No, I have nothing against Autor; he's awesome, actually, but this felt like such a good idea, I couldn't help myself. Mostly, it happened because of a) a random AMV on youtube, and b) work air twists my brain.

Some chapters will be shorter, others will be very long, some will have more of a storyline, and each character is aware that they're in a fan fiction about singing. Chapters are _sort of_ continued off each other, but not really... I mean, it's not a continued storyline. If there _is_ a storyline. It takes place in the middle of... everything. I'm not sure, and everyone is _intentionally OOC_.

Autor: Kura-chan, why??? -in tears-

Fakir: _Pink_ earmuffs??? No wonder they didn't work!!!

Duck: I'm... scared. And scarred. For life.

All three: GRAB YOUR PITCHFORKS, WE'RE MOBBING!!!

Kura-chan: -screams and runs into the distance to cower behind a conveniantlly placed rock, can be heard faintly: "review!!!!!" -


	3. Rue's Baby and the Battle of Nudity

**If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls**

**NOTE: The last chapter's musical number, courtesy of Avril Lavigne, forgot to mention, sorry!**

**Chapter Two: Rue's Baby And The Battle Of Nudity**

Rue sighed, staring around the room. Yesterday, she'd been treated to a performance by Autor, which apparently was rehearsed to Fakir and Duck down below. Now, Fakir and Duck sat shivering in the corner, drinking hot chocolate, and mumbling about horrors Rue couldn't quite grasp. Mytho watched them curiosuly, Autor was playing piano, normal suddenly, and Mytho's victims were practicing a choir song. Drosselmeyer was mumbling about being unhappy, and scarring childhood memories, and Mr Cat was deep in a wedding magazine; Cat Brides.

Suddenly, Rue was grabbed by the sudden desire to know:

**Rue: **_What is a Baby? _

Everyone glanced up from their various activities, and began to hum softly.

**Rue: **_I just can't understand  
It must be something wonderful  
It must be something grand  
'Cause everybody's smiling  
In a kind and wistful way  
And they haven't even noticed  
That I'm around today _

The humming ceased, and they rose to swirl around Rue gracefully, spontaneously, somehow knowing _exactly_ what to do.

**All: **_What is a Baby? _

**Rue: **_Oh, what is a baby?  
I must find out today  
What makes Jim Dear and Darling  
Act that way_

The song came to a close, and everyone gaped at Rue, miraculously seated once more.

"What?" Rue demanded, "I asked _what is_ a baby, not _where do babies come from_! I already know that!"

More gaping, and a few gasps. "Rue!" Duck exclaimed, "There are children present!" she clapped her hands over Uzura's little wooden ears, her eyes looking somewhat wider than usual...

"I haven't done anything!" Rue snapped defensively.

Over in a corner, Mytho leaned in towards Fakir, and whispered, "Well, what do you think she did when she took me to the place which snows crow feathers? Why else would I always be nude?"

Rue glared. "Come now Mytho, we all know it's because you like to expose yourself. After all, who is it who doesn't wear pants half of the time?"

"Well, you're the one who wears that skimpy black number!" he shot back.

"Well, I'm the one who leaps around showing off my panties!" Duck cried, causing everyone to stare. She blushed, "I mean, do continue."

They did so, and Fakir noted, "Have we sung a song yet Duck?"

"No."

"Oh well. It is Rue and Mytho's chapter, we can wait."

They nodded decisively, and turned to Mytho and Rue. The other occupants of the room faded away, and Fakir said, "Mytho, why don't you sing a song that describes you?"

Mytho nodded, and suddenly stood in only his usual white shirt, opening his mouth wide.

**Mytho: **_Oh I'm not wearing underwear today!_

Rue and Duck fainted, dragged off stage by invisible sources, and Fakir threw a pair of white pants at his face, covering his eyes, and mumbling, "Dude, put some pants on!"

**Mytho: **_No I'm not wearing underwear today!  
Not that you probably care, much about my underwear, still nonetheless, I gotta say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_That I'm not wearing underwear today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

A mytsterious clapping was heard, and a disembodied voice (that sounded suspiciously like Edel) cried out; "Get a job!"

The entire cast of Princess Tutu (and I do mean _everyone_, this includes the unnamed and named alike) appeared in a large hall, filled with mice wearing bikinis, and began to sing; after Duck made the following announcment:

"The Internet is really really great!"

Fakir interrupted: "For porn."

**Duck: **_I've got a fast connection so I dont have to wait _

**Fakir: **_For porn_

How uncharacteristic of Fakir! "Wait, you blushed when you saw me naked!" Duck cried. Rue stared. She began to consider those words more carefully.

**Duck: **_Huh?  
There's always some new site, _

**Fakir: **_For porn!_  
**Duck: **_I browse all day and night _

**Fakir: **_For porn!_

**Duck: **_It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light_

**Fakir: **_For porn!_

**Duck: **(Originally: _Trekkie!_) _Fakir!_

**Fakir: **_The internet is for porn _

**Duck: **(Originally: _Trekkie!_) _Fakir!_

**Fakir: **_The internet is for porn, _

**Duck: **_What are you doing!?_

**Fakir: **_Why you think the net was born?  
Porn porn porn_

**Duck: **_Fakiiiiiir!!!!_

**Fakir: **(Originally: _Oh hello kate monster_) _Oh hello Duck Monster_

**Duck: **_You are ruining my song_

**Fakir: **_Oh me sorry, me no mean to_

**Duck: **_Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?_

**Fakir: **_Me no talkie_

**Duck: **_Good_

Rue was still deep in thought about Duck's outburst, tuning further out of the song.

_Im glad we have this new technology_

**Fakir: **_For porn_

**Duck: **_Which gives us untold opportunity_

**Fakir: **_For por - oops, sorry_

**Duck: **_Right from you own desktop_

**Fakir: **_For ---_

**Duck: **_You can research browse and shop  
Until youve had enough and your ready to stop_

**Fakir: **_FOR PORN!!_

**Duck: **(Note: replacing all 'Trekkie's and Kate's' with 'Fakir's and Duck's') _Fakir!_

**Fakir: **_The internet is for porn!_

**Duck: **_Noooo_

**Fakir: **_The internet if for porn!_

**Duck: **_Fakir._

**Fakir: **_Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!_

**Duck: **_Thats gross youre a pervert_

Rue's hearing was slowly returning...

**Fakir: **_Ah, sticks and stones Duck monster_

**Duck: **_NO really, your a pervert  
Normal people dont sit at home and look  
At porn on the internet_

**Fakir: **_Ohhhh?_

**Duck: **_What?!_

**Fakir: **_You have no idea  
Ready normal people?_

**Princess Tutu Cast:** _Ready--- ready ----ready_

**Fakir: **_Let me hear it!_

**Fakir and Guys: **_The internet is for porn!_

**Mytho: **_Sorry Duck_

Suddenly Rue was all ears. "Mytho!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING????"

**Fakir and Guys: **_The internet is for porn!_

**Mytho: **_I masturbate!_

Rue and Duck screamed in a perfect harmony, with the help of Mytho's (porn) victims!!!!

**Fakir and Guys: **_All these guys unzip their flies  
For porn, porn, porn!_

**Duck: **_The internet is not for porn!! _

Rue and Mytho's victims nodded agreeably. "Too true!"

**Fakir and Guys: **_PORN!, PORN, P---_

**Duck: **_HOLD ON A SECOND!_  
_Now I know for a fact that you, Autor, check your portfolio and trade stocks online_

**Autor: **_Thats correct._

Uzura's ears are undergoing a lot of covering lately... poor Uzura. Edel, meanwhile, is feeling awfully disturbed by the sight/sound of Drosselmeyer and Autor participating in this act.

**Duck: **_And Femio, you buy things on _

**Femio: **_Sure! _

**Duck: **_And Drosselmeyer, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay _

**Drosselmeyer: **_Yes I do!_

**Duck: **_And Mytho, you sent me that sweet online birthday card _

**Mytho: **_True!_

**Fakir: **_Oh, but Duck-  
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?_

**Mytho: **_. .yeah_

Rue is in tears, feeling cheated. After everything she gave to Mytho!!! (Not her purity, you sick minded people!!!)

**Duck: **_EEEWWWWW! _

**Fakir and Guys: **_The internet is for porn! _

**Duck: **_Gross!_

**Fakir and Guys: **_The internet is for porn!_

**Duck: **_I hate porn_

**Fakir and Guys: **_Grab your dick and double click_

**Duck: **_I hate you men! _

**Fakir and Guys: **_For porn, porn, porn!  
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn_

**Duck: **_Im leaving! _

**Fakir and Guys: **_Porn, porn, porn, porn  
porn, porn, porn, porn_

**Duck: **_I hate the internet! _

Every female character from Princess Tutu vanishes, screaming and crying... except for Uzura, who is now exposed to the harsh real world. The men, surprisingly, don't care if Uzura's innocent mind is contaminated. They join the song, and Uzura bangs her drum singing 'porny, porny, porny, porn!!!' - **Stupid Writer**: most disturbing part yet.... shudders.... should sue work.

**Fakir and Guys: **_Porn, porn, porn, porn_

**Fakir: **_The internet is for_

**Fakir and Some of the Guys: **_The internet is for _

**ALL: **_The internet is for PORN!_

**Fakir: **_YEAH!_

**Author's Note: **Oh no. Oh God no. What have I done???????????????????????????????????????????????

-Princess Tutu cast chasing me over the hills and far, far, FAR away.... -

_reviewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ even if all you can say is: O______________________________________O totally understand. Or: ......... SCREAM

please, scream away.

**Also: **Songs: What's a Baby - Lady and the Tramp soundtrack

I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today - Avenue Q

The Internet Is For Porn - Avenue Q


	4. German Words and Love Lessons in the

**If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls**

**Chapter Three: German Words And Love Lessons in the SILENT Library!!!**

**WARNING: this installment contains large doses of... wait for it... RANDOM**

It had been much too quiet in Gold Crown Town. Too quiet. Autor's piano was broken, you see, and how can you sing without music? So, they decided they needed to find that unusual penguin character who seems able to produce music. Then again, it was hard to find a new piece to sing when you were so busy moping, plotting dastardly deeds, trailing around in yellow polka-dotted boxers, or cowering because you just discovered that the town posseses no internet, thus rendering the porn plot useless, like Mytho, Rue, Duck and Fakir were doing, respectively.

But, until they found the penguin, they had to be quiet in the library... well, if they weren't Autor may decide that his glasses were actually super silent lasers.

Nevertheless, just because this is a musical, Duck decided she might try something interesting...

"Fakir?"

"What?"

"Do you think I should go out with Mytho?"

He frowned but shrugged. "Why? After all, you can't exactly tell him that you love him can you?"

"Oh yeah. Never mind then."

"Is that it? You only asked me that much?"

"Should I be asking more?"

He paused, hesitant. "I... guess not."

"Can you two be more careful?" Rue asked, shaking madly in front of her, "Autor... could be _anywhere_..."

Duck and Fakir exchanged a terrified glance; they knew _exactly_ how scary Autor could be...

Suddenly, music began from nowhere, and Autor emerged from behind a bookcase, causing everyone to scream. Autor scowled. "Be quiet! It's a library!" and then Autor glared at Duck.

"What?"

"You're the noisiest."

"Am not!"

"You kind of are Duck," Rue pointed out.

"Yeah, no offence," Mytho added.

In the hope of some support, Duck whirled about to face Fakir. "Fakir-sama?" she flattered him.

"No. You are noisy and irritating and there's nothing more to it than that."

**Duck: **_There you go  
You're always so right  
It's all a big show  
It's all about you_

**Fakir:**___You think you know  
What everyone needs  
You always take time  
To criticize me  
_  
**Rue: **_It seems like everyday  
I make mistakes  
I just can't get it right_

**Mytho: **_It's like I'm the one  
You love to hate  
But not today_

**All (including Autor):**_So shut up, shut up, shut up_  
**Duck: **_Don't wanna hear it_  
**All: **_Get out, get out, get out_  
**Fakir: **_Get out of my way_  
**All: **_Step up, step up, step up_  
**Rue: **_You'll never stop me_  
**All: **_Nothing you say today_  
**Mytho: **_Is gonna bring me down_

**Rue: **_There you go  
You never ask why  
It's all a big lie  
Whatever you do_

**Mytho: **_You think you're special  
But I know, and I know  
And I know, and we know  
That you're not_

**Fakir: **_You're always there to point  
Out my mistakes  
And shove them in my face_

**Duck: **_It's like I'm the one  
You love to hate  
But not today_

**All: **_So shut up, shut up, shut up  
_**Rue: **_Don't wanna hear it  
_**All: **_Get out, get out, get out  
_**Mytho: **_Get out of my way  
_**All: **_Step up, step up, step up  
_**Fakir: **_You'll never stop me  
_**All: **_Nothing you say today  
_**Duck: **_Is gonna bring me down  
_**All: **_Is gonna bring me down_

**Autor: **_Will never bring me down_

**Duck: **_Don't tell me who I should be (echo courtesy of Autor)  
And don't try to tell me what's right for me  
_**Fakir: **_Don't tell me what I should do  
I don't wanna waste my time  
_**Both: **_I'll watch you fade away_

**All: **_So shut up, shut up, shut up  
_**Mytho: **_Don't wanna hear it  
_**All: **_Get out, get out, get out  
_**Rue: **_Get out of my way  
_**All: **_Step up, step up, step up  
_**Duck: **_You'll never stop me  
_**All: **_Nothing you say today  
_**Fakir: **_Is gonna bring me down_

**All: **_Shut up, shut up, shut up  
Don't wanna hear it  
Get out, get out, get out  
Get out of my way  
Step up, step up, step up  
You'll never stop me  
Nothing you say today  
Is gonna bring me down_

**Fakir: **_Bring me down  
_**Autor: **_{shut up, shut up, shut up}  
_**Duck: **_Won't bring me down  
_**Autor: **_{shut up, shut up, shut up}  
_**Rue: **_Bring me down  
_**Autor: **_{shut up, shut up, shut up}  
_**Mytho: **_Won't bring me down_

**All: **_Shut up, shut up, _

**Autor: **_shut up!_

Autor glared at them. They could tell that his glasses were preparing to fire that beam! That was the only plausible reason he would wear glasses! And to look evil!

"Wait, Autor, before you fire!" they screamed.

He flinched. Fire?

"We just wanna point out... you were singing too!!!!" and then everyone bolted.

Musical act, complete. Penguin status: still hiding. Autor Glasses Status: shattered. Main Quadruplets: terrified.

**~:~:~**

The following day, Fakir and Mytho sat together, Mytho telling Fakir about all his pain. It was hard, and harsh and painful, not having a heart.

"I don't understand... how do you feel pain without feelings?" Fakir asked philosophically. Trust him to be like that.

"I just can ok? Now if you don't smile and wave it away, you'll destroy everything! You're supposed to be singing by now!"

"Oh, right, ok."

**Fakir: **_Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy_

**Mytho: **_I'll say._

**Fakir: **_And when I see how sad you are  
It sort of makes me...  
Happy!_

**Mytho: **_Happy?!_

**Fakir: **_Sorry, Mytho, human nature-  
Nothing I can do!  
It's...  
Schadenfreude!  
Making me feel glad that I'm not you._

**Mytho: **_Well that's not very nice, Fakir!_

**Fakir: **_I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!  
D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?_

**Mytho: **_Yeah..._

**Fakir: **_And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?_

**Mytho: **_Sure!_

**Fakir: **_And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,  
Watching people out in the rain!_

**Mytho: **_You bet!_

**Fakir: **_That's..._

**Fakir and Mytho: **_Schadenfreude!_

**Fakir: **_People taking pleasure in your pain!_

**Mytho: **_Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?  
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?_

**Fakir: **_Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!" _**Stupid Writer: **I only just realised the irony... they live in Germany. Oh well.__

**Mytho: **_"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!  
Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken_

**Fakir: **_Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!_

**Mytho: **_Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"_

**Fakir and Mytho: **_"No!!!"  
Schadenfreude!_

**Fakir: **_"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"_

**Mytho: **_Ooh, how about...  
Straight-A students getting Bs?_

**Fakir: **_Exes getting STDs!_

**Mytho: **_Waking doormen from their naps!_

**Fakir: **_Watching tourists reading maps!_

**Mytho: **_Football players getting tackled!_

**Fakir: **_CEOs getting shackled!_

**Mytho: **_Watching actors never reach_

**Fakir and Mytho: **_The ending of their oscar speech!  
Schadenfreude!  
Schadenfreude!  
Schadenfreude!  
Schadenfreude!_

**Fakir: **_The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.  
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us,  
and that makes them feel great._

**Mytho: **_Sure!  
We provide a vital service to society!_

**Fakir and Mytho: **_You and me!  
Schadenfreude!  
Making the world a better place...  
Making the world a better place...  
Making the world a better place...  
To be!_

**Fakir: **_S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!_

"Maybe," Fakir noted, "Drosselmeyer was better suited to this song... I'll bet he enjoyed it anyway."

**~:~:~**

_Meanwhile..._

**Duck (as Princess Tutu): **_Why can't people get along and love each other, Princess Kraehe?_

**Rue (as Princess Kraehe): **_You think getting along same as ruving?  
Sometimes ruv right where you hating most, Princess Tutu._

**Duck:**_Huh?_

**Rue: **_The more you ruv someone,  
The more you want to kill 'em.  
The more you ruv someone,  
The more he make you cry_

Duck felt she was beginning to understand why Kraehe was always trying to hurt Mytho; it just meant she loved him... no wonder she always wanted to kill Fakir!__

**Rue: **_Though you are try  
For making peace  
With them and ruving,  
That's why you ruv so strong  
You like to make him die!_

The more you ruv someone,  
The more he make you crazy.  
The more you ruv someone,  
The more you wishing him dead!

Sometime you look at him  
And only see fat and lazy,  
And wanting baseball bat  
For hitting him on his head!

Ruv

**Duck: **_Love_

Ok... what was with Kraehe/Rue's accent?__

**Rue: **_And hate_

**Duck: **_And hate_

Duck was a... duck wasn't she? Well, apparently she'd transformed using the pendant into a parrot... for Rue!__

**Rue: **_They like two brothers_

**Duck: **_Brothers_

**Rue: **_Who go on a date_

**Duck: **_Who....what?_

Duck's eyes widened and she made a dash for the door, not liking where this lesson on 'ruv' was going... but Rue/Kraehe grabbed her arm and pulled her into a pa de deux.__

**Rue: **_Where one of them goes,  
Other one follows  
You inviting ruv  
He also bringing sorrows_

**Duck: **_Ah, yes._

Duck figured if she went along with this, she could get out sooner...__

**Rue: **_The more you ruv someone,  
The more you want to kill 'em.  
ruving and killing  
Fit like hand in glove!_

**Duck: **_Hand in glove._

**Rue: **_So if there someone  
You are wanting so  
To kill 'em.  
You go and find him.  
And you get him.  
And you __**no**__ kill him.  
'Cause chances good_

**Rue and Duck: **_He is your love/ruv....!_

And Duck ran. As far as she could, to find a knife and stab Fakir for yelling at her in the library!!!

**~:~:~**

**A/N: **Yes. Avenue Q shall appear a LOT in this story. That's because it's a good source. But just wait, _some_ normal songs _will_ appear I promise.

Autor: I'm sorry people. I know, she takes things _way_ too far. Plus, it was too long, wasn't it???

Duck: please, please agree with him! Then she'll stop writing!!! PLEASE!!!!!

Fakir: Duck... I'm sorry.

Duck: A - Eh?

Fakir: I don't want you to stab me... please.

Rue and Mytho: Even now that you know it means she loves you?

Duck: I don't!

Fakir: You don't? -sounds hurt-

Duck: Oh, I'm sorry. I _might_ like you... but 'love' is a strong word...

**Shut Up - Simple Plan - **_pasted incredible links to videos inspiring some of these songs on my profile; I dedicate this chapter to _**51d7**_ on youtube for her fabulous princess tutu AMV. There is another few people, who inspired me to put in the Schadenfreude... I think it was... I'll put it in next chapter, promise!_

**Schadenfreude - Avenue Q**

**The More You Ruv Someone - Avenue Q**


	5. The Position of the Planets & the Stars

**If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls**

**Chapter Four: The Position Of The Planets and Stars**

Drosselmeyer was ready to hand out the horoscope through song, of course, in true musical style. He'd been studying hard for this moment, and he was certain he'd be able to tell this in a lovely tragic way!

**Drosselmeyer:** _Aquarius!_

Young Uzura skipped forward, Edel at her side. Drosselmeyer pouted; these two couldn't be depressed. Oh well, it'd get worse!

**Drosselmeyer: **_There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a  
speeding bus  
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a  
day_

Looking excited by these prospects, the pair raced away. Their joy only seemed to moisten the air with further anticipation from the rest of the line. Next was__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Pisces!_

Pike and Lillie jumped excitedly in front of Drosselmeyer, who rolled his eyes, despite his joy that Lillie shared his passion for pain.

**Drosselmeyer: **_Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus  
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say_

"I knew I was a great dancer!" Pike squealed, but Lillie only pouted.

"What's wrong Lillie?"

"That's a _good_ horoscope! You're supposed to weave tragedy you stupid...!"__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Aries!_

Rue padded forward, en pointe, and grinned cheerfully up at him. If it was supposed to make him like her, she was a dismal failure. He recalled a scene with Mytho and Rue naked... oh yeah, and a few days ago, the wonderful battle of nudity. A wicked idea formed..._  
_**Drosselmeyer: **_The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound  
watermelon in your colon  
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep_

Rue looked horrified. Drosselmeyer was right, the look on her face was priceless. "Is it Mytho's?" he asked curiously.

"I haven't done anything!" she shrieked, but raced over to the drug store to purchase a pregnancy test kit nontheless.__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Taurus!_

Autor nervously inched forward, and whispered in Drosselmeyer's ear: "Mytho's baby? Are you sure...?"

"Ah, dear follower, did you think it was yours?"

"Not really..."

"Rue!" Mytho bellowed across the street, "You cheater!"

"Well, here you go Autor; your horoscope," Drosselmeyer continued.

**Drosselmeyer: **_You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?  
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go  
back to sleep_

Autor gaped at his idol. "You're kidding? Never find... true happiness?" A high-pitched squeal from Lillie indicated her pleasure at his pain. She was great with that 'schadenfreude'.

"Oh poor Autor!" Pike cried, "I'll make you happy!"__

**Princess Tutu Cast: **_That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today_

**Drosselmeyer: **_Gemini!_

Raetsel slowly inched forwards with Mr Cat on her tail; which understandably makes one nervous.

**Drosselmeyer: **_Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence  
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through  
your chest_

"Hans would never!" Raetsel exclaimed.

"I... have a fiancé?" Mr Cat purred, "It wouldn't be... Paulamoni, would it?" Paulamoni shook her head, grabbing her husband's hand, she raced out the town gates, never to be seen again.__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Cancer!_

Hermia twirled up the line to stand in front of Drosselmeyer, while an exhausted donkey followed her. "Go away!" she snapped, "I _dressed_ as a donkey, I didn't _own_ one! Why do you have to keep following me??"

**Drosselmeyer: **_The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face down in  
the mud  
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's  
test_

Hermia groaned. "As long as I don't have to keep this damned donkey... Uzura will pay..."__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Leo!_

Lysander appeared from nowhere, scowling, but still taking Hermia's hand. "Well?" he demanded.

**Drosselmeyer: **_Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's  
face, oh no  
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of  
strawberry Quik_

Lysander's scowl deepened, but he produced a bucket of tuna-flavoured pudding anyway, and devoured it. "I don't have any strawberry Quik," he mumbled.__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Virgo!_

Freya raised a delicate and skeptical eyebrow. "No flower jokes."

**Drosselmeyer: **_All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you  
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stake_

"I beg your pardon!"

"There were no flower jokes," he pointed out.

"Yes, but your predictions come true... Oh no!" she wailed, and ran from a mysterious stake that began to nudge her neck.__

**Princess Tutu Cast: **_That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today_

**Fakir, Autor, Drosselmeyer and Lillie: **_Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the  
relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep  
significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give  
you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid,  
scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not  
to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true._

**Drosselmeyer: **_Where was I?_

**Drosselmeyer: **_Libra!_

Duck was very apprehensive. The floating stake was still chasing Freya, and she knew Drosselmeyer had a fetish for causing harm to her... so what would he do to her...?

**Drosselmeyer: **_A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than  
you  
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week_

She blinked. "That's it? I don't even _need_ an appendix!" she shouted, "Promotion? What, you're going to replace Tutu? You can't anymore, no one else _wants_ to do this you stupid jerk!" she was all fired up.

"Relax. The bad things will happen to the people you love, and that ought to hurt, right?"

"You leave Fakir alone!"

"I didn't realise that was the one you loved...?"

She turned bright red and tried to run, but at that moment...__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Scorpio!_

Oh no.Fakir grabbed Duck's wrist, and held her still. "I'll deal with you in a minute," he growled, "First, I want to hear what Grand Daddy has planned for me."

"Don't antagonize him!" Duck warned.

Drosselmeyer looked _very_ angry about the 'grand daddy' comment...

**Drosselmeyer: **_Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window  
Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak_

"My self-esteem is fine!" Fakir snapped.

"Oh really, then what was all that crying over being a pathetic knight for?"

"I told you to leave Fakir alone!" Duck piped up from Fakir's side, temporarily forgetting the bruising grip Fakir had on her wrists.

"Is everyone cheating me?" Mytho yelled, "First Rue goes off with Autor, now Duck is with my _friend_ Fakir!"

"Sorry Mytho..." everyone mumbled.

"Drosselmeyer," Mytho grit out, "Make sure it's a _high_ open window for Fakir. Otherwise it might just be one storey, and he'd survive."

"Of course. Now..."__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Sagittarius!_

Mytho's turn! What more can we do to the poor guy?

**Drosselmeyer: **_All your friends are laughing behind your back _

**Mytho: **_(kill them) _

**Drosselmeyer: **_Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in  
your den_

"I already knew about the friends. And who _is_ Ernest Borgnine? Then I can take those pictures down... Got a lot of pictures..."__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Capricorn!_

Femio rode forth on a bull followed by Montand and several, terrified, caged women.

"Who is the Capricorn, exactly?" Drosselmeyer asked, eyeing Fakir and Duck being locked in a cage together. "And why are you caging my grandson and his future wife?"

"Future _what_?" Duck and Fakir howled.

"Who controls the story hm?" Drosselmeyer sneered.

"Can we focus on me?" Femio roared over the noise, in particular the continued screaming of Autor as Pike squeezed him. Femio's voice was a literal roar...

**Drosselmeyer: **_The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know  
they're lying  
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never  
leave my house again_

"What?" Femio began to cry, "They do not _lie_!!!!! YOU LIE, YOU LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"__

**Princess Tutu Cast: **_That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today_

**Femio's Bulls: **_That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today-yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
That's your horoscope for today_

"Wait... what the fuck?" everyone cried. "The bulls???"

**~:~:~**

**A/N: Kura:** Yay! Horoscopes! Ok, that was 'that's your horoscope for today' by Weird Al.

-watches floating stake chase Freya... sweat drops- oh Drosselmeyer, what were you thinking?

Drosselmeyer: Me? You did this!

Kura: Did I?

Everyone: Yes!

Kura: Oh... wow.

Mytho: So... you're the one who had everyone betray me? -gets murderous glint in eyes, slowly turning pink...-

Kura: Ah, no, no, no! That was definitely _not_ me!!

Mytho: Name the traitor!

Kura: -casts around wildly - ah, how about... that one!

Mytho: That one?

Kura: Yeah... -squints- ah it's... it's Rue's daddy, the Raven!

Mytho: KILL!!!!!

Everyone: Yes, go Mytho, kill, kill, kill!

Rue: Mytho, Mytho, he's my man! If he can't kill dad, no one can!

Fakir: It's sort of true...

Duck: But Rue... don't you love your father?

Rue: You kidding? He's a psychopath. Why would I get in the way of a muderous Mytho for his sake?

Duck and Fakir: Good point.

All: -watch Mytho drawing sword on monster raven- Oohhh... -wince-

Kura: that's gotta hurt... sorry raven!!!


	6. Wicked With a Hint of Yellow Tails

**Previously on If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls:**

_**Drosselmeyer: **__Virgo!_

_Freya raised a delicate and skeptical eyebrow. "No flower jokes."_

_**Drosselmeyer: **__All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you  
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stake_

_"I beg your pardon!"_

_"There were no flower jokes," he pointed out._

_"Yes, but your predictions come true... Oh no!" she wailed, and ran from a mysterious stake that began to nudge her neck.___

**~:~:~**

**Chapter Four: Wicked. With a Hint of Yellow Tails.**

Fakir and Duck were glaring across the room at each other. Rue and Mytho struggled to avoid their evil death glares. One minute, the pair had been acting like the couple everyone knew they secretly were, and the next, at each other's throats. They believed Fakir probably said something nasty, Duck got pitchy about it, and Fakir got angry with her voice. And since this was a musical, in true musical style, they knew it was only a matter of time before they would burst into song, and rapidly raced away to gather a chorus.  
**Duck: **(spoken) Dearest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle:

**Fakir: **(spoken) My dear Father:

**Both: **There's been some confusion  
Over rooming here at Gold Crown:

**Fakir: **But of course, I'll care for Rue-chan:

**Duck: **But of course, I'll rise above it:

**Both: **For I know that's how you'd want me to respond  
(Spoken:) Yes  
There's been some confusion  
For you see, my roommate is:

**Duck: **Unusually and exceedingly peculiar  
And altogether quite impossible to describe:

**Fakir: **Blonde.

"I'm not blone you twit!" Duck cried furiously, tugging at her red hair.

"Well, I'm not your roomate!" Fakir retorted. "It's just part of the song, go with it!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good."

"Glad we understand."

"Moving on?"

"Of course."

**Duck: **What is this feeling,  
So sudden and new?

**Fakir: **I felt the moment  
I laid eyes on you;

**Duck: **My pulse is rushing;

**Fakir: **My head is reeling;

**Duck: **My face is flushing;

**Both: **What is this feeling?  
Fervid as a flame,  
Does it have a name?  
Yes! Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing

**Duck: **For your face;

**Fakir: **Your voice;

**Duck: **Your clothing;

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Fakir demanded, "You're the one who wears gravity defying tutus!"

**Both: **Let's just say - I loathe it all  
Every little trait, however small  
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl  
With simple utter loathing  
There's a strange exhilaration  
In such total detestation  
It's so pure, so strong!  
Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last  
And I will be loathing  
Loathing you  
My whole life long!

Rue and Mytho returned at this point, dragging with them a long crew of friendly young women from the school, including Pike, Lillie, Freya, Hermia, Malen, a random lamp spirit, and some willing young men too. Autor, was not among them. He would not praise the little red-head, and so, had been mysteriously left unconscious in the school courtyard...

**This Gathering: **Dear Ahiru, you are just too good  
How do you stand it? I don't think I could!  
He's a terror! He's a Tartar!  
We don't mean to show a bias,  
But Ahiru, you're a martyr! **Stupid Writer - **Ahiru here, for the sake of fitting the song.

**Duck: **Well; these things are sent to try us!

**The Gathering: **Poor Ahiru, forced to reside  
With someone so disgusticified  
We just want to tell you:  
We're all on your side!  
We share your;

**Fakir and Duck: **What is this feeling  
So sudden and new?  
I felt the moment I laid eyes on you  
My pulse is rushing  
My head is reeling  
Oh, what is this feeling?  
Does it have a name?  
Yes  
Ahhh

**Gathering singing in unison with previous paragraph: **Loathing Unadulterated loathing  
For his face, his voice, his clothing  
let's just say - we loathe it all  
ev'ry little trait however small  
makes our very flesh being to crawl  
AHHH!

**All: **Loathing!

**Gathering: **loathing

**F&D: **There's a strange exhilaration

**Gathering: **loathing

**F&D: **In such total detestation

**Gathering: **loathing

**F&D: **It's so pure, so strong

**Gathering: **So strong!

**F&D: **Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last  
And I will be...

**Gathering (Background): **loathing...

**F&D: **loathing  
For forever...

**Gathering (Background): **loathing...

**F&D: **loathing,  
Truly deeply loathing you  
loathing you  
My whole Life long!

**Gathering: **Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing

**Fakir: **Boo!

**Duck: **AH!

The two bowed lightly, smiling, and cried, "Thankyou, thankyou!" and then walked off together, completely ignoring the fact that they were supposed to loathe each other forevermore, instead planning what they would do for their next musical act.

Meanwhile...

**Mytho: **I'm gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware!

**Fakir: **I've never seen a king of beasts

With quite so little hair

**Mytho: **I'm gonna be the mane event

Like no king was before

I'm brushing up on looking down

I'm working on my roar

**Fakir: **Thus far a rather uninspiring thing

**Mytho: **Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

**Mytho: **No one saying do this

**Fakir: **Now when I said that--

**Rue: **No one saying be there

**Fakir: **What I meant was--

**Mytho: **No one saying stop that!

**Fakir:** What you don't realize--

**Mytho and Rue: **No one saying see here

**Fakir: **Now see here!

**Mytho and Rue: **Free to run around all day

**Fakir: **That's definitely out--

**Mytho and Rue: **Free to do it all my way!

**Fakir: **I think it's time that you and I

Arranged a heart-to-heart

**Mytho: **Kings don't need advice

From little hornbills for a start

**Fakir: **If this is where the monarchy is headed

Count me out

Out of service, out of Africa

I wouldn't hang about

This child is getting wildly out of wing

**Mytho: **Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

As the music began to play, Duck spotted a strange sight. Fakir was dressed in a ridiculous blue bird's outfit, and Mytho and Rue were dressed as lions. Not only that, but the world had gone African, with colour! As she didn't have anything better to do, she joined to crowds of supporting Princess Tutu cast, all dressed as animals, and turned herself into a duck. Hooray!

**Mytho: **Everybody look left

Duck and the cast raced to the left. Which was actually the right, but we won't tell them that...

**Mytho: **Everybody look right

Duck and the cast raced to the right. Which was actually the right, so really, they just kept going the way they had been going in the first place.

**Mytho: **Everywhere you look I'm--

Standing in the spotlight

**Fakir: **Not yet!

**Duck and the cast, as well as Mytho and Rue: **Let every creature go for broke and sing

Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing

It's gonna be King Mytho's finest fling!!!

**Mytho: **Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

**Rue: **Oh, he just can't wait to be king!

**Mytho: **Oh, I just can't wait...

**Duck and cast: **Just can't wait

**Mytho, Rue, Duck, and Cast (and secretly the very angry Fakir): **To be king!!!!

Duck sniggered at Fakir's ridiculous outfit, until he picked her up by her tail, and threw her into a puddle, leaving her stark naked in front of a large crowd of people. "FAKIR YOU %$#^($*$*^#^%#&&$)(#$#^^%#&#*)(#*$&^*$*$(*$&() DOG TERD!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, surprising everyone with her sharp tongue. Fakir just lifted her out of the water, making her quack, and turning her back into a duck. "That's better," he said, "Shut up, moron."

He could have sworn she just gave him the finger. But it was hard to tell, when she only had feathers.

**~:~:~**

**Author's Note: **. . . let's face it, that was not only creepy, it was stupid. Guess I'm not as funny as I thought, right? Anyway, I ended it on a sappy fluffy note, which is... you know, a little... ehhhh..... not necessary in a fic of this nature. Nevertheless, review please?

**Autor: **I was spared today!!

**Kura:** which only means you're going to get bashed next time, right?

**Autor: **. . . damn.


	7. Princess Potter?

**Princess... Potter??? O_O**

**Previously on If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls:**

_**Duck: **__Unusually and exceedingly peculiar  
And altogether quite impossible to describe:_

_**Fakir: **__Blonde._

_"I'm not blone you twit!" Duck cried furiously, tugging at her red hair._

_"Well, I'm not your roomate!" Fakir retorted. "It's just part of the song, go with it!"_

_"Fine!"_

_"Fine!"_

_"Good."_

_"Glad we understand."_

_"Moving on?"_

_"Of course."_

_**Duck: **__What is this feeling,  
So sudden and new?_

_**Fakir: **__I felt the moment  
I laid eyes on you;_

**~:~:~**

There was something very strange happening in Gold Crown Town today. Everywhere one looked, they saw Halloween preparations going on. That wasn't really unusual (aside from the fact that it was March...) but what was weird was...

"A-see-oh!"

"It's _a-key-oh­ _you moron!"

"I _know _that!"

No, Fakir and Ahiru arguing was completely normal. Their clothing choices could possibly be put down to the Halloween arrangements. However, the topic of their 'conversation' had little to do with the holiday season.

"I thought _I_ was going to be Hermione!" Duck whined, being dragged along the Academy hallway. "Why does _Rue-chan­ ­_always get the best parts?"

"She has the right hair colour, moron," Fakir informed her, "And that is why you're Ginny. Red hair. You see? Look at it this way, at least you don't have to wear a wig like Mytho has to. And, you get to be his sister."

"But _Rue-chan_ gets to be his girlfriend."

"So?"

"So!"

"Oh shut up before you hurt yourself. Ginny is still a major part."

"Yeah, but you're lucky Fakir," she said, changing attitudes from angry and sulking to happy and encouraging, "You get the most majorest part! Harry!"

He chose not to respond. It was best that way. He guessed that she didn't know much about the story; Harry and Ginny got to be a couple in the end, not Harry and Cho. Not that he was particularly interested in being paired up with Freya. "Just... hurry up and get to the rehearsal."

Fakir shoved on the borrowed glasses from Autor (apparently the boy didn't actually need them; but Fakir did feel pretty special with everyone thinking he could shoot lasers from his eyes (refer to chapter four)) and sat on the stool in the middle of the floor. Gold Crown Academy had been transformed into Hogwarts and somehow, everyone believed they were from Harry Potter's world. Fakir and Duck seemed to be the only ones aware that this all began with the desire to do a musical performance of it.

**Fakir:** _Underneath these stairs, I hear the sneers and feel the glares of my cousin,  
my uncle and my aunt. Can't believe how cruel they are, and it stings my lightening scar  
to know they'll never, ever give me what I want. I know I don't deserve these, awful rules  
made by the Dursley's here on, Privet Drive. Can't take these stupid muggles, but despite  
all of my struggles... I'm still alive! Sick of Summer and this waiting around. Man it's September  
so I'm skipping this town. Hey it's no mystery, there's nothing here for me now!!_

_I gotta get back to Hogwarts! I gotta get back to school. I gotta get myself to Hogwarts,  
where everyone thinks I'm cool. Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts,  
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts, it's all that I love and it's all that I need  
at Hogwarts, Hogwarts I think I'm going back._

As the music continued to play, backstage, the rest of the cast were fixing their robes. Duck was annoyed; the red of Gryffindor clashed with her hair. Rue was also angry, "I'm _always_ wearing red!" she complained.

"I thought it was purple...?" Autor added.

"Shut up!"

**Fakir:**_ I'll see my friends, gonna laugh till we cry,  
Take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky,  
No way this year, anyone's gonna die!  
And it's gonna be totally awesome!_

_I'll cast some spells with a flick of my wand,  
Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on!  
And do it all with my best friend Ron,  
Coz together we're totally awesome._

**Mytho:**_ yeah, coz together we're totally awesome!_

"Did somebody say Ron?" Mytho asked. Fakir paused a second, stunned; Mytho was wearing a wig. A red wig. He almost laughed.

"Ron, what are you doing here?"

"Hey man, sorry it took me so long, I had to get some... Floo Powder. But, come on, pack your things we gotta get going."

"Where are we going?"

"To Diagon Alley of course!"

Both boys raced around the stage, flapping their arms ridiculously and shouting, "Floo Powder power, Floo Powder power, Floo Powder power!"

**Both:**_ It's been so long, but we're going back  
Don't go for work, don't go there for class  
As long as we're together, gonna kick some ass!  
Coz together we're totally awesome!_

_This year we'll take everybody by storm,  
Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm_

**Rue:**_ But let's not forget that we need to perform  
well in class, if we want to pass our OWLs!_

"Oh, Hermione, why do you have to be such a buzz kill?" Mytho demanded.

"Because _guys_, school's not all about fun and games, we have to work hard if we wanna be good witches and wizards," she replied, letting out an irritated grunt.

**Rue:**_ I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart,  
Check out my grades, they're A's for a start,  
What I lack in looks, well I make up in heart  
And well guys, yeah that's totally awesome!_

_This year I plan, to study a lot..._

**Mytho:** _That would be cool if you were actually hot_

Here, Rue very nearly burst into tears. Stupid Princess Tutu, returning the heart shard of acting ability to Mytho yesterday. If it weren't for that, he would suck at this, and he wouldn't have been able to say she wasn't 'hot' so convincingly! She held herself together though, knowing that somewhere inside her, _she_ had a heart shard of acting ability too!

**Fakir:**_ Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!_

**Mytho:**_ And that's cool..._

**Rue:**_ and that's totally awesome!_

**All:**___Yeah, it's so cool and it's totally awesome!_

The rest of the cast emerged on stage behind the three, and 'Ron', 'Hermione' and 'Harry' continued to sing. The cast danced ludricrously, and the audience (that would be Kura-chan) wondered how ballet dancers managed to fail so epically.

_We're sick of Summer and this waiting around!  
It's like we're sitting in the lost and found!  
Don't take no sorcery, for anyone to see how..._

_We gotta get back to Hogwarts!  
We gotta get back to school!  
We gotta get ourselves to Hogwarts!  
Where everything is, magic-ooool!_

_Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts,  
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts,  
It's all that I love and it's all that I need at  
Hogwarts, Hogwarts, we think we're going back._

Duck rushed out onto the stage, wailing, "Rooooon! You were s'posed to take me to Madam Malkin's and use those sickles mum gave you..."

"Uhh, who's this?" Fakir interrupted.

"This is stupid dumb little sister Ginny, Ginny this is Harry. Potter! He's Harry Potter."

As Duck shook Fakir's hand, she struggled not to laugh; he really looked ridiculous with those glasses! "Oh my god... you're Harry Potter... you're the boy who lived!"

"Yeah.... you're Ginny," Fakir said awkwardly.

"I-it's Ginevra," she corrected.

"Cool... I'll stick with Ginny."

Mytho walked over and clapped his hands above her head, causing her to yelp. "Stupid sister! Don't crowd the famous friend."

Music began to float across the stage, and the four began to look for the source. "Hey, do you guys here music?"

"Yeah what is that?"

"Someone's coming."

**Freya, Raetsel and Hermia:** _Cho Chang, domo arigatou, Cho Chang  
Gung fat hey Choy Chang, Happy Happy New Year, Cho Chang!_

Duck whimpered, "Aww... who's that?"

"That's uh... That's Cho Chang," Fakir told her.

"Yeah, that's the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year," Mytho gave more detail.

"But he won't say anything," Rue added.

"Well of course not, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot!" Mytho argued. Fakir found himself silently agreeing; if he ever told Duck... well, he could just _imagine_ how he would suffer. Besides, she was Princess Tutu, and she couldn't exactly devote time to a relationship; she was busy jumping around, seeking out every single friggin' emotion Mytho needed. For Drosselmeyer's sake, acting ability wasn't even a feeling! It was a brain function! He didn't carve out his brain... oh, wait... did he even have a brain?

"Konnichiwa Cho Chang, it... is... nice... to.... meet... you. I'm _Ginny Weasley_," Duck was speaking to Raetsel, enounciating clearly.

"Bitch I ain't Cho Chang!" Raetsel snapped.

Mytho stalked over and clapped above her head again. "Stupid that's _Lavender Brown_! Racist little sister!"

"It's okay," Freya walked over, putting on a southern gal accent, "I'm Cho Chang ya'll."

"Oh, she's perfect," Fakir said, failing to put enough emotion into it.

"Yeah, but it's too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory, right?" Mytho said.

"Seriously, who the _hell_ is Cedric Diggory?"

"You know, he's that guy, he's like you, only taller and..." Mytho trailed off as Femio shoved in between them, and began to dance with Freya. (A/N: actually, Femio could please that girl - he has an endless supply of flowers, you know?)

**Femio:**___Cho Chang! I am so in love, with Cho Chang! From Bangkok to Diiing Dang! I'll sing my love aloud, for Cho Chang!_

"Man, I _hate_ that guy!"

Kura-chan makes a cameo appearance: Please note that in the original musical, there was more dialogue in this part. What I am using comes directly from the soundtrack, which cuts a small portion of the dialogue, which introduced Neville and Goyle and Crabbe. Thankyou.

Autor walked onto the stage, glasses-less (since Fakir was wearing them) "Did somebody say, Draco Malfoy??" he cried exaggeratedly. The other four groaned collectively, and Fakir said, "Ugh, Malfoy what do you want?"

"So Potter," Autor continued, circling them like a vulture, "Back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher calliber of wizard," he struck a pathetic pose in the center of the floor.

"Listen Draco, Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world, I wouldn't trade them for anything," Fakir said, an arm around Mytho and Rue's shoulders, while Duck tried to join in, Mytho shoved her aside.

"Have it your way," he spotted Duck and smirked. "Wait, don't tell me. Red hair, hand-me-down clothes, and a stupid complexion...? You must be a Weasley."

Mytho stepped forwards, "Hey, Malfoy, lay off my sister ok? She may be a pain in the ass, but she's _my_ pain in the ass."

"Oh, isn't this cute? It's like a little loser family." As the four walked off-stage, Autor, flanked by Lillie and Pike (dressed as boys) began his own monologue. "Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. But luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!"

**Autor:**_ This year you bet, gonna get outta here,  
The reign of Malfoy is drawing near,  
I'll have the greatest wizard career,  
It's gonna be totally awesome!_

_Look out world for the dawn of the day,  
when everyone will do, whatever I say!  
And Potter won't be in my way,  
Then I'll be the one who is totally awesome!_

**Lillie:**_ Yeah you'll be the one that is totally awesome!_ (she rather shouted this, her voice considerably deeper than usual... more than a few eyebrows were raised. A box of popcorn fell to the floor.)

Rue raced back on stage, the rest of the ensemble following behind. "Come on guys, we're going to miss the train!"

They all stood as if on a train, and moved their arms like wheels. It seemed that Hogwarts was on a tight budget, casting mass hallucination spells on the students to believe they were on a train.

**All:** _Who knows how fast, this year's gonna go,  
Hand me a glass let the butterbeer flow,_

**Fakir:**_ Maybe at last, I'll talk to Cho!_

**Mytho:**_ Oh no, that'd be way too awesome!_

**All:**_ We're back to learn everything that we can,  
It's great to come back to where we began,  
And here we are, and Alakazam!  
Here we go this is totally awesome!_

_C'mon and teach us everything you know,  
The Summer's over and we're itchin' to go,_

**Uzura (as Neville):**_ I think we're ready for, Albus Dumbledore!_

**All:** _Ahhhhhhhhh!_

**Drosselmeyer:** _Welcoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-o-o-o-ome all of you, to Hogwarts.  
I welcome all of you, to school!  
Did you know that here at Hogwarts,  
We've got, a hidden swimming pool?  
Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts,  
Welcome hotties, nerds, and tools,  
Now I've got you here at Hogwarts,  
I'd um, I'd like to go over just a couple of rules._

"My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I am headmaster of Hogwarts. You can all call me, Dumbledore. S'pose you could also call me Albus if you want a detention, uh! I'm just kiddin', I'll expel you if you call me Albus."

**All:** _Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts,  
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts,  
It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts..._

_Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends,_

**Fakir, Duck, Rue, Mytho, and Uzura:** _To Gryffindors!_

**Femio:** _Hufflepuffs!_

**Freya, Raetsel and Hermia:**_ Ravenclaws!_

**Lillie, Pike and Autor:**_ Slytherins!_

**All:**_ Back to the place where our story begins at Hogwarts, Hogwarts!_

**Drosselmeyer:**_ I'm sorry what's its name?_

**All:**_ Hogwarts, Hogwarts!_

**Drosselmeyer:**_ I didn't hear you kids!_

**All:**_ Hogwarts, Hogwarts!_

**Fakir:**_ Man I'm glad I'm back!_

Everyone heaved a great sigh of relief, the song ending, and everyone going backstage before they had to rehearse for the next scene. The audience who had gathered to watch the rehearsal vacated the vicinity, and Fakir slumped on a chair beside Duck. "So, still upset about being Ginny?"

She appeared not to hear him, mumbling under her breath, "_Ah-key-oh, ah-key-oh, _not_, ah-see-oh_."

"Why are you even bothered by that? It's my line, not your's," Fakir reminded her.

"Dammit! _Now_ he tells me."

"ARGH!" a voice shouted, and everyone stared. Autor was glaring at the script, "NO ONE TOLD ME THAT MYTHO GOT RUE AND NOT ME!!!"

"Clearly, he hasn't read the books."

Two figures shuffled around, back to back. Everyone stared. "What?" Mr Cat mewled.

"Yeah, what?" growled the raven.

"Tell me... why again, did we have two animals playing Quirrel and Voldemort?"

No one answered.

~:~:~

Kura: And that's a wrap. The song is "Get Back To Hogwarts" from "A Very Potter Musical" which can be viewed in 23 parts on youtube. It is well worth it. There will be a return of this too, so be prepared: that was the longest song in the musical... I'm sorry. Anyway, I realise it's pretty much just writing what happened in the show, but still, I had to, I couldn't resist.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Autor: Why, why am I Malfoy?

Kura: Because, let's face it, you fit the part. I mean, you have unrequited feelings for Rue, and in the original musical, Malfoy has unrequited feelings for Hermione. That's that. Besides, you already envy Fakir, same as Malfoy does. And you're ambitious. Understand?

Fakir: Now that she mentions it... you are pretty similar.

Autor: You make me hate you so much more.

Duck: Kura-chan doesn't own Princess Tutu, Harry Potter, or A Very Potter Musical.

Fakir: Thank god she doesn't, because if she did...

Duck: I'd be Ginny forever!!! I wanted to be Hermione, I wanted to be with Mytho!!!

Rue: Well, now you get to be with Fakir. It's a better match. Besides, I'll bet you wouldn't be able to bare it if Mytho said you weren't hot. I'll forever hate Tutu for returning that damned heart shard.

Mytho: I'm pretty happy. I got to eat on stage. -noms on chips-

Kura-chan: Hey! Those are mine!!!


	8. Uzura Learns About Life

**Uzura Learns About Life**

**Previously on If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls:**

"Oh, isn't this cute? It's like a little loser family." As the four walked off-stage, Autor, flanked by Lillie and Pike (dressed as boys) began his own monologue. "Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. But luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!"

**Autor:**_ This year you bet, gonna get outta here,  
The reign of Malfoy is drawing near,  
I'll have the greatest wizard career,  
It's gonna be totally awesome!_

_Look out world for the dawn of the day,  
when everyone will do, whatever I say!  
And Potter won't be in my way,  
Then I'll be the one who is totally awesome!_

**Lillie:**_ Yeah you'll be the one that is totally awesome!_ (she rather shouted this, her voice considerably deeper than usual... more than a few eyebrows were raised. A box of popcorn fell to the floor.)

Rue raced back on stage, the rest of the ensemble following behind. "Come on guys, we're going to miss the train!"

They all stood as if on a train, and moved their arms like wheels. It seemed that Hogwarts was on a tight budget, casting mass hallucination spells on the students to believe they were on a train.

**~:~:~**

Uzura blinked curiously as she was ushered into a dark room, where she was told a movie was going to be showing. Being so young, she didn't grow nervous when the door was locked by Fakir, and a screen lit up in front of her.

On the screen, Fakir waved, and music began; this was not unusual, after all, Uzura had seen enough of their musical acts to know this was atypical of this fan fiction. She didn't expect to be taught about the harsh real world quite so soon, however.

**Fakir:**_ Life's gonna suck when you grow up,  
when you grow up, when you grow up,  
Life's gonna suck when you grow up  
It sucks pretty bad right now._

Edel's voice sang from nowhere:

**Edel:**_ Hey! If you know the words, sing along!_

Now Duck reappeared, and in turn with the lyrics, was shown mowing Mr Cat's lawn, doing Fakir's dishes, and making Raetsel's bed, before a scene of her doing ballet at the Academy appeared.

**Duck:**_ You're gonna hafta mow the lawn,  
Do the dishes, make your bed,  
You're gonna hafta go to school  
Until you're seventeen!_

Femio appeared on his bull, muttering under his breath.

**Femio: **_It's gonna seem about three times as long as that._

Now Mytho appeared, dressed in his Prince's costume, but his sword had been replaced by a pistol, with a white swan curling around the design. Paulamoni had returned to Gold Crown (after the horoscope incident) and appeared dressed as a nun. For some reason, she vanished a long time after this particular event as well; Uzura had wondered where she went; now she knew that Mytho had accidentally fired...

**Mytho: **_You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun,  
You might have to go to war when you get out of school._

Autor didn't look up as he spoke, playing the piano, and clearly annoyed that Fakir had requested his help with this project.

**Autor: **_Hey cheer up kids it gets a lot worse._

Rue now appeared, clutching her head as she sang, and throwing her possessions around her room. Uzura wondered how much she broke...

**Rue: **_You're gonna hafta deal with stress,  
Deal with stress, deal with stress,  
You're gonna be a giant mess,  
When you get back from the war!_

Now came the real bombshell. Pike and Lilie were only too happy to oblige with the sadistic part; Duck had been their practice... she'd been reduced to tears. Uzura was to be likewise.

**Pike and Lilie: **_Santa Claus does not exist, and there's no Easter Bunny,  
You'll find out when you grown up, that Big Bird isn't funny._

**Minor Characters: **_funny, funny, hahahahaha! _For whatever reason, all the minor characters were dressed as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Big Bird.

**Fakir, Duck, Mytho and Rue: **_Life's gonna suck when you grow up,  
when you grow up, when you grow up,  
Life's gonna suck when you grow up  
It sucks pretty bad right now!_

Now Drosselmeyer appeared, and this interested Uzura enough to look up from her pool of tears.

**Drosselmeyer: **_You're gonna end up smoking crack, on your back, face the fact,  
You're gonna end up hooked on smack, and then you're gonna die._

Uzura was bawling her wooden eyes out. NOOOO!!!!

**All: **_And then you're gonna die-ie-ie-ie-ie!_

The video ended, and no one came to retrieve the weeping mess. Not until Charon finally returned from the Schmied (**Stupid Writer:** Ahh... the schmied. If anyone doesn't know, this is the German word written on Charon's shop. I believe it means Smith). After explaining the situation, Charon went to the room to find Uzura had been possessed by a giant goat, and wanted to kill them all.

O_O Wow.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kura: Ok. That. Was. Random. Well, I liked this song, so I put it up, even though this chapter is very short, it does at least provide a gap before the next Potter spoof-ish thing.

Fakir: Uzura... oh god...

Duck: ... giant... goat?

Femio: -riding past on his bulls- MISA YOULA POOKION!!!

Everyone: O_O

Kura: At least _I_ am aware that the phrase means 'where is the Christmas goat?'... but it's not Spanish. Isn't Femio like... 1/3 Spanish, 1/3 French and 1/3 Japanese? I think? He speaks French sometimes, has the whole Olé Spain thing happening, but he's in a Japanese anime, set in Germany, which can be viewed in English as well? Oh dear.

Duck: Do you think the giant goat is a reference to Uzura's lost faith in Santa Claus, therefore restorting to the Christmas goat instead?

Fakir: What _are_ you on about?

Duck: Don't you read Kura-chan's profile?

PT Cast: Duck, it's bad enough reading this story. If anyone actually read that story on her profile... they'd never survive...

Rue: While they convince Duck about that - Kura-chan does not own Princess Tutu, or the song "Life's Gonna Suck" by Dennis Leary. The end.

Kura: ... for now.... -shifty eyes-


	9. Unfortunately, My Soul Is

**Unfortuantely, My Soul Is...**

**Previously on If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls:**

**Mytho: **_You might have to go to war, shoot a gun, kill a nun,  
You might have to go to war when you get out of school._

Autor didn't look up as he spoke, playing the piano, and clearly annoyed that Fakir had requested his help with this project.

**Autor: **_Hey cheer up kids it gets a lot worse._

Rue now appeared, clutching her head as she sang, and throwing her possessions around her room. Uzura wondered how much she broke...

**Rue: **_You're gonna hafta deal with stress,  
Deal with stress, deal with stress,  
You're gonna be a giant mess,  
When you get back from the war!_

Now came the real bombshell. Pike and Lilie were only too happy to oblige with the sadistic part; Duck had been their practice... she'd been reduced to tears. Uzura was to be likewise.

**Pike and Lilie: **_Santa Claus does not exist, and there's no Easter Bunny,  
You'll find out when you grown up, that Big Bird isn't funny._

)_-_-_-_(

_And now, for something completely different..._

)_-_-_-_(

Drosselmeyer sighed, studying the clog before him. There were his characters, prancing about without a care, happy (except for Uzura, bless her) and _singing_. Singing? He couldn't remember how the control of things had managed to get into _that person's_ hands, and why _that person_ chose to make it a musical. His tragedy was being ruined... but perhaps he could remedy that, he thought, watching as Duck argued with Fakir, the most miniscule of blushes on both faces. If things failed, after all, he could always claim it a success; he'd got his grandson a girlfriend. Lord knew he needed one.

Donning his cape and hat, and checking his hands were firmly screwed on, he stepped into the musical once again, and recalled that his plan would now have to be carried out through song. He summoned Duck to his side, informing her that he had a treat for her; medicine that would stop her appendix from bursting (refer to "the position of the planets and the stars").

Once they were out of earshot, he heard music begin. He kind of liked the beat... it suited him... somehow.

**Drosselmeyer: **_I admit that in the past I've been a nasty  
They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange  
But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways  
Repented, seen the light and made a change_

Duck scoffed, staring at him with distrust.__

**Drosselmeyer: **_And I fortunately know a little secret  
It's a talent that I always have possessed  
Dear lady, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf  
Of the miserable, the lonely and depressed, pathetic!_

Now Duck _knew_ Drosselmeyer had been drinking. He was... getting into the song. Besides, what was he on about? She wanted her medicine and she wanted it now! Was he talking about his ability to make stories come true?__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Poor unfortunate souls  
In pain, in need  
This one longing to be thinner  
This one wants to get the girl  
And do I help them? Yes, indeed!_

Yeah, right. Now he had to be singing about Rue and Mytho. She could bet it was his fault that Rue got to be Hermione before! And Mytho would have made a better Harry, right?

She paused. Right.__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Those poor unfortunate souls  
So sad, so true  
They come flocking to me crying  
"Will you help us, pretty please?"  
And I help them, yes, I do!_

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber  
They think a girl who gossips is a bore  
Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word  
And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?

Now Duck was feeling sort of injured; it wasn't _her_ fault she blabbered the way she did! What was the point of this? Where was the sadistic fossil going with this?__

**Drosselmeyer: **_They're not all that impressed with conversations  
True gentlemen avoid it when they can  
But they dote and swoon and fawn on the lady who's withdrawn  
And she who holds her tongue, gets her man_

Poor unfortunate souls  
Go ahead, make your choice  
I'm a very busy person and I haven't got all day  
It won't cost much, just your voice

Narrowing her eyes, she had to ask. "What do you mean? Who're we talking about here? What do you mean it'll cost my voice?"

"Why, my grandson of course. Here's the deal: I'll allow you to confess your love, and you won't vanish into a speck of light. But once you do, I'll take your voice away. You can still be Princess Tutu - but a mute one."

Duck gasped - was he implying she was destined for Fakir, in the end? "Dammit, I _knew_ that Shipping Bridge was a bad idea! The votes were so unbalanced in the fandom!" (**Stupid Writer:** The Shipping Bridge is a reference to Princess Tutu Abridged, on youtube PLEASE watch it. You will NOT regret it.)__

**Drosselmeyer: **_Those poor unfortunate souls  
So sad, so true  
If you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet  
You've got the pay the toll_

Autor and Lillie appeared on either side of Drosselmeyer, and produced a long contract. Duck began to read the fine print.

**Drosselmeyer: **_Take a gulp, take a breath, go ahead, sign the scroll  
__Autor__ and __Lillie__, now I've got her, __kids__  
The boss is on a roll!_

You poor unfortunate souls  
In pain, in need  
This one longing to be thinner  
This one wants to get the girl  
And do I help them? Yes, indeed!

Those poor unfortunate souls  
So sad, so true  
They come flocking to me crying  
"Will you help us, pretty please?"  
And I help them, yes, I do!  
Those poor unfortunate souls!

Just as Duck made to sign the scroll, Fakir came onto the scene, rolled his eyes, and dragged Duck away, reminding her that she didn't need an appendix. "Oh yeah. Maybe next time Drossie!"

"Damn."

)_-_-_-_(

_"It's time to try Defying Gravity!"_

_"You're going to die Defying Gravity! _I already told you, the music won't give you super powers. Moron."

~_ Princess Tutu Abridged, Episode 12, Act 2. Fakir and Duck._

)_-_-_-_(

Kura: and that's a wrap. Ok, so, I wasn't actually planning on doing this! I wasn't, but I did. Don't worry, in future, I'll be doing chapters with more than one song again. But, for the time being, I just wanted to do this one. It's kind of pointless, to be honest, but the song fits Drosselmeyer SO well - I've seen a video with this song and Kraehe. Very well done. In any case, the Princess Tutu Abridged references are worth noting. Occassionally, I'll be inserting them, at random. People who haven't seen the videos on youtube should really do so.

Duck: I actually get to be semi-intelligent.

Kraehe: Rue/Fakir fans will get minor enjoyment from the first couple of episodes. It's only references, but anyway

Autor: They've only done the first 12 episodes so far... so I'm not in it.

Kura: shoo, all of you! Anyway. That said...

Fakir: Kura-chan doesn't own Princess Tutu, Defying Gravity (from Wicked) or have any contribution to Princess Tutu Abridged. She also wants to point out that while she is aware that Poor Unfortunate Souls is a song from Disney's 'The Little Mermaid', she chose to use a version done by The Jonas Brothers.

Kura: Yes, yes and I'm not a fan. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the only one of their songs I've heard. But I like it.

Mytho: I feel somehow left out. Why?

Kura: -shrugs- hey, I referred to you, don't complain.

Mytho: I wanna be more involved.

Kura: well... -thinks about her range of music- Ok! Mytho, I'm going to force myself to write a Mytho Special next chapter! You may not be the biggest piece, because I have plans for everyone else too... but you're gonna be there!

Mytho: -randomly parties-

Fakir: Mytho! Those are _my_ pants!

Duck: -blushes-

Rue: -huggles Mytho-

Fakir: -searches for Mytho's pants-

Kura: . . . Um. So, Drosselmeyer... here's your twenty.

Drosselmeyer: Thankyou. I told you it'd happen one day. Mytho was bound to gain opinions.

Kura: . . . no comment.

Everyone: Please review! Note: all underlined lyrics have been changed to suit the musical.


End file.
